parts cowork home
SettingsDevices and sharingSave & restoreYour data: copy, restore, forget
About parts cowork
Help

In danger, or thinking about harming yourself? Stop here and talk to a person.

Call or text 988 (US)findahelpline.com, any country
Feeling far away? Back to the roomA quick look aroundReview the walksFor helpersWhat this is, and is notPrivacyWho made this

Explore a sample system

Walks ยท one sitting, about 13 min

After a good moment

For the drop that can follow a good moment, such as praise, a success or feeling close to someone: meet the part that pulls you back down as a protector, and hear what it is afraid would happen if a good moment stayed good.

14 steps, drawn from 14 books on IFS.

Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.

Read every step first
  1. When a good moment turns. For when something good happens, praise, a win, a close evening with someone, and then something pulls you back down: a letdown, a flatness, a voice cutting you down to size. This walk meets the part that does that, as a protector. You can stop at any point.
  2. Land first. Sit in a way you can stay in for a while. Your eyes can stay open or rest closed, whichever feels better, and you can change your mind. Notice what is holding you up: the seat under you, the floor under your feet.
  3. Breath, or the room. If a few slower breaths help, take them. If paying attention to your breath makes things worse, look around the room instead. None of this is meant to bring the good moment back. Whatever you feel now can stay as it is.
  4. One good moment. Bring to mind one good moment that was followed by the drop. Something small is fine. Just the moment and what came after it. There is no need to go into the history behind it.
  5. Find it. Turn toward the part that pulled you back down, rather than the good moment itself. Where do you notice it, in or around your body? It might come as a flatness, or as something else entirely.
  6. What it does. See what it does once the good moment has passed. It might play down what you did, say you do not deserve it, or warn you not to aim so high. However you sense it is fine.
  7. How do you feel toward it? Not how the part feels. How you feel toward it. Answer with what is true rather than what sounds right. This answer decides what comes next.
  8. Let it know you are listening. Let it know you are not here to argue it out of its job. Ask what it wants you to know about good moments like that one. Wait, and let the answer come from it. If nothing comes, that is okay too.
  9. What is it afraid of? Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it let a good moment stay good. Wait for its answer rather than guessing it.
  10. Where did its answer point? Sometimes its fear is about now: taking a risk and getting hurt, failing where people can see, or someone else losing out because you did well. Sometimes it points further back, at a younger part that believes it does not deserve good things. Both are worth knowing. Only the first is for today.
  11. Thank it, if that is honest. If it feels true, let it know you appreciate its efforts to keep you safe, and that it is not alone. See how it reacts. If you do not feel that, that is okay. You can try another time.
  12. How loud is it now? The same scale you used at the start. A drop is worth noticing. No change is fine too: you know it better than you did.
  13. Give it a name, if one comes. A name can help you notice it sooner next time, before it pulls you all the way in. Any name will do. If none comes, leave it blank.
  14. Before you go. Thank the part that pulls you back for what it let you see, and any part that gave you room or let you know it was afraid. If you mean it, tell them you plan to come back. When you are ready, return to the room: feel your feet and look around.
  15. Get to know the one that keeps stepping in. That is all right. Today, this is the part to get to know. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it let you get closer to the one that pulls you back down. Wait for its answer, instead of thinking one up.
  16. Seen, and not today. If a younger part showed itself, let it know you noticed it and will not forget it. You are not going to it today. If you want, make a note to come back. You can thank the one that pulls you back for showing you what it guards. That may be plenty for one sitting.
  17. You can stop here. When a part will not step back, stopping here is fine. It does not mean you are failing: it may take more time for it to trust you. You can use the time that is left to hear what it is worried about.
  18. Ask for a little room. Turn toward whichever part answered just now. Ask if it would give you a little room, just for a few minutes, so you can meet the one that pulls you back down. It does not have to leave.