Walks ยท one sitting, about 5 min
How you talk to yourself
A short walk to notice how you treat yourself when something goes wrong, how you would like to, and how any part of you takes one plain line of self-compassion.
9 steps, drawn from 8 books on IFS.
Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.
Read every step first
- A few minutes with yourself. For after a day you were hard on yourself, or just to see how you usually talk to yourself. It asks nothing of any part. It only notices.
- Come in. Sit or stand where you are. Notice the chair at your back and the floor under your feet. Eyes open or closed, whichever feels better.
- When something goes wrong. Think of a small thing that went wrong lately. A few words are enough. When something like that happens, how do you treat yourself? Kind, critical, or somewhere between?
- The words it uses. If it has words, what are they? Notice where you find the part that says them, in your body or around it.
- How you would like to. Now the other side: how would you like to treat yourself? Think of a time you acted like someone who loves you, and imagine it playing out.
- One line. Is there a line that fits that, one you could say to yourself? Put it in your own words. Something as plain as "this is hard right now" is one way.
- Say it inside. If a hand on your chest feels okay, try it, and say the line inside. If not, say it without. A few slow breaths are another option.
- How it landed. Notice how any part of you takes that line. If one does not trust it yet, that is worth knowing. Trust can take more time.
- Before you go. Thank any part that answered, and any that did not. If you plan to do this again, tell them, only if you mean it. Then come back to the room: your feet, what you can see.