Coming in hot
For the moment a part takes over mid-argument or mid-day: slow down, notice what took over, say it as a part, and leave a note to come back to it later.
6 steps, drawn from 8 books on IFS.
Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.
Read every step first
- Slow down. You do not have to answer anyone right now. If it helps, take three slow breaths with the ring. If breathing does not help, count to ten instead, or step out of the room for a minute.
- Get curious. See if you can get curious about what just took over. Anger, panic, an urge to win or to leave? Where is it in you: jaw, chest, hands, voice? Only notice it. You do not have to fix it or make sense of it.
- Speak for it. Say it for the part, instead of letting it talk through you. Finish the line that starts "A part of me". That is one part of you, not all of you. You can keep it to yourself for now.
- Mark it for later. This is a trailhead: a way in to a part worth knowing. In the middle of things there is usually no room to follow it. Leave a short note, so you can come back to this part when you have some time alone.
- How loud is it now? The same scale you used at the start. A drop is worth noticing, and no change is fine too: you looked at it, not only out through it.
- Back to the room. If it feels true, thank the part for trying to look out for you, even if what it wanted would not have helped. Tell it you will come back to it, only if you mean to. Then notice the room: your feet, what you can see.