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Walks ยท one sitting, about 14 min

One quality, in the body

Pick one quality of Self-energy that is here today, even a crumb of it: calm, curiosity, courage or another. Find where it lives in your body, breathe into it, let it move, and get to know the part that puts a lid on it.

15 steps, drawn from 14 books on IFS.

A draft: every passage it quotes is in its book, but its own wording has not yet been checked against them.

Read every step first
  1. A crumb is enough. This walk is about the you under your parts, the one that can be calm or curious without trying. The books call it Self, and say it turns up in the body before anywhere else. You will pick one quality and look for where it lives. Two percent of it is plenty to start with.
  2. Land in the chair. Sit so your back is long but not stiff. Feel your weight on the seat, and the floor under your feet. Eyes open, lowered or closed, whichever suits you. A few slow breaths, or skip them and just let the chair hold you.
  3. Which one is here? Of these, which is nearest right now, even faintly? If a part wandered in while you settled, it can stay and watch. Pick one. You can try the others another day.
  4. Where does it live? Look for it in your body. Where is it, and what is it like there: warmth, width, a loosening, a hum? Stay with it and watch what the sensation does next.
  5. Breathe into that spot. Let each in-breath travel to the place where the quality sits, as if the air could get there. Notice whether it changes. If noticing the breath stirs things up, rest your attention on the spot instead.
  6. Let it move. Now see if the quality wants to move. A hand might want to lift, or your shoulders might roll back. Follow it as far as is comfortable, and no further. Then, if touch feels all right, rest a hand on that place for a moment.
  7. Is there a lid on it? See what happens if you let the quality get a little bigger. Is there a point where something says that is enough? Maybe a thought shows up, or a tightening somewhere.
  8. Find the one holding the lid. Turn toward whatever holds it back. Where do you notice it? Your body may be helping it out: a breath you are holding, or a jaw that sets.
  9. How do you feel toward it? Notice how you feel toward the part holding the lid. Not how it feels: how you feel toward it. Answer with what is true rather than what sounds right, because this answer decides what comes next.
  10. What would it need? Ask it what it would need in order to ease off a little, and be all right with this quality being around. Then wait. The thinking parts can rest. Nothing coming is an answer too.
  11. What is it guarding against? Ask it what it is afraid would happen if this quality got bigger in you. Wait for its answer instead of thinking one up.
  12. Where did its answer point? Sometimes a protector's fear is about now: the argument, the deadline, being let down again. Sometimes it points further back, at someone younger in you who got hurt and still carries it. Both are worth knowing. Only one of them is for today.
  13. Back to the quality. Come back to the place where the quality lives and give it whatever room it wants. Welcome it, whichever one it turned out to be. If none really showed today, that is fine: the books say Self is there whether you can feel it or not. If the breathing does not help today, skip it.
  14. Pass some along. If there is some of it in you now, let it reach toward the part that held the lid, whether or not it asked. Notice how it takes that. Then think of the people you live with for a moment, while the quality is still here.
  15. Before you go. Thank the part that held the lid, and any that stepped back, if that is true. Tell them you will be back, but only say it if you mean it. Then look around the room, and see if a little of the quality can stay with you for the next hour.
  16. Get to know the one that keeps stepping in. That is all right. Today, this is the part to get to know. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it let you get closer to the first one. Then wait for its answer instead of thinking one up.
  17. Seen, and not today. If a younger part showed itself, let it know you noticed it, and that you will not forget about it. You are not going to it today. If you want, jot a note so you can find your way back later. That may be plenty for one sitting.
  18. Ask the other part for some room. Turn toward the part that has strong feelings about this one. Ask if it would give you a little room, just for a few minutes. It can stay nearby. If it worries the first part will take over, let it know you will not let that happen.