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Walks ยท one sitting, about 10 min

The part that hurries

For the part that hurries everything. Take it slowly, find where the rush sits in the body, check how you feel toward it, and ask what it is afraid would happen if you slowed down.

13 steps, drawn from 17 books on IFS.

A draft: every passage it quotes is in its book, but its own wording has not yet been checked against them.

Read every step first
  1. For the part that hurries. This is for the part that hurries everything: the quick pace, the skipped breath, the next thing already started. It is usually fast and tired. Here you meet it as a protector, and ask what it is afraid would happen if things slowed down. Nobody is going to push it to change, and you can stop whenever you want.
  2. Shoulders down. Let your shoulders come down from your ears, if that is where they are. If slower breaths help, take a few. If they do not help today, skip them, rest your eyes on something plain in the room, a wall or a mug, and let that be enough.
  3. No hurry. There is no hurry here, so you can take this as slowly as you like. The part that hurries may want to get through this. Let it know it can go at its own pace, and that nothing here is timed.
  4. A time you were rushing. Think of a recent time you were hurrying. What were you doing, and what was it you were hurrying toward, or away from? Small and recent works best.
  5. Where the rush sits. Slow the moment down. Where do you feel the hurry in you? A lean forward, a quickened breath, a tight chest, a pull to do the next thing? Where is the part that is hurrying?
  6. Your feeling toward it. Toward the part that hurries, not toward the work. Answer with what is true rather than what sounds kind, because this answer decides what comes next.
  7. If things slowed down. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if you slowed down. The answers come in a few kinds: that you would fall behind and be judged, that something would be missed, that you would look foolish, or that a feeling would catch up with you. Wait for its answer, instead of writing one for it.
  8. Where did its answer point? Sometimes the fear is about now: falling behind, missing something, a feeling catching up. Sometimes it points further back, at someone younger inside you who got hurt and still carries it. Both are worth knowing. Only the first is for today.
  9. Its turn to be looked after. Stay with it a while and ask it nothing. This part spends its days getting things done. Let it have a turn. Just your attention resting on it, and a slower breath toward where it sits, if that comes easily.
  10. It has got a lot done. If you mean it, thank it. It has kept a lot moving. See how it takes that.
  11. One breath slower. Ask the part whether it would let you slow down by a single breath, once, as an experiment, with it close by. It can say no.
  12. How loud is it now? Same scale as the start. Any drop is worth noticing. None is fine too: you have spent the time with the part that hurries rather than inside it.
  13. Before you go. Thank the part that hurries, and any part that made room or told you it was scared. Tell them you will check in again only if you plan to. Then return to the room: the floor under your feet, the light, a sound from outside.
  14. Get to know the one that keeps stepping in. This is the part to get to know today. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it gave you some room. Wait for its answer rather than thinking one up.
  15. Where did its answer point? Sometimes the fear is about now: falling behind, missing something, a feeling catching up. Sometimes it points further back, at someone younger inside you who got hurt and still carries it. Both are worth knowing. Only the first is for today.
  16. Seen, and not today. If a younger part showed itself, let it know you saw it and will not forget it. You are not going to it today. If you want, jot a note so you can find your way back. That may be plenty for one sitting.
  17. Stopping here is fine. If a part will not give you room today, you can stop here. Nothing has gone wrong. Trust takes more than one sitting. If it told you what worries it, you can keep a note of that.
  18. Ask for a little room. Turn to the part that reacted, the frustrated or impatient one. Ask whether it would make a bit of room, only for a while, so the one that hurries can be seen properly. It can stay close. If it fears the hurrying will take over for good, tell it you will not let that happen.