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Walks ยท one sitting, about 11 min

The part that turns feelings down

For feeling flat, numb or shut down inside: meet the protector that turns the volume down on feelings, thank it for the job first, and hear what it is afraid would happen if things came up.

13 steps, drawn from 17 books on IFS.

Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.

Read every step first
  1. This is for the part that turns things down. This is for the part that turns the volume down on feelings. Things go flat or numb, and it can be hard to say what you feel. This walk thanks it for that job before asking it anything. It does not ask it to turn anything up. If you feel foggy or far away rather than flat, the next screens offer the room as a place to stop.
  2. Land first. Sit in a way you can stay in for a while. Your eyes can stay open or rest closed, whichever feels better, and you can change your mind. Notice what is holding you up: the seat under you, the floor under your feet.
  3. How here are you? Before going on, check how much of you is here. Can you feel your feet on the floor? Can you wiggle your fingers? Flat or numb is what this walk is for. If it is more foggy or far away, the room may suit today better, with as much time and space as you need.
  4. Find the flatness. Feeling flat or numb can be the work of a part: one that turns the volume down on feelings. Bring it to mind, now or the last time it came down. See if you can notice where it sits in or around your body. It may feel heavy, blank, held, or like nothing much.
  5. How do you feel toward it? Not how the part feels. How you feel toward it. Answer with what is true rather than what sounds right. This answer decides what comes next.
  6. Thank it first. Before asking it anything, let it know you can see how long and how hard it has worked. If thanks feels honest, offer it. If not, noticing it is enough. See how it reacts.
  7. What is it doing for you? Ask it what it is doing for you when it keeps the volume down, and wait for the answer to come from it. You are not asking it to stop.
  8. What is it afraid of? Ask what it is afraid would happen if it let the volume come up, even a little. Wait for its answer rather than guessing it.
  9. Where did its answer point? Sometimes its fear is about now: being swamped, not being able to work, crying and not being able to stop. Sometimes it points further back, at a younger part of you that got hurt and still carries it. Both are worth knowing. Only one of them is for today.
  10. It can keep the dial. It can keep the volume where it is. If it is willing, it can know that you might like to feel a little more some day, a bit at a time, and that it could turn things back down whenever it needs to.
  11. How strong is it now? The same scale you used at the start. A change is worth noticing. No change is fine too: you know it better than you did.
  12. Give it a name, if one comes. A name can help you notice it sooner next time, before it pulls you all the way in. Any name will do. If none comes, leave it blank.
  13. Before you go. Thank the part that turns things down, and any part that stepped back, for being with you, whether or not it told you anything. Let it know you plan to come back, only if you mean it. When you are ready, return to the room: feel your feet and look around.
  14. Get to know the one that keeps stepping in. That is all right. Today, this is the part to get to know. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it let you get closer to the part that turns things down. Wait for its answer, instead of thinking one up.
  15. Seen, and not today. If a younger part showed itself, let it know you noticed it and will not forget about it. You are not going to it today. If you want, make a note so you can come back to it. That may be plenty for one sitting.
  16. Stopping here is allowed. When a part will not step back, stopping here is fine. It does not mean you are failing: it may take more time for it to trust you. You can use the time that is left to hear what it is worried about.
  17. Back to the room. For today, the room is a fine place to stop. Notice each of these as it comes. The walk called Back to the room is made for this, any time you want it.
  18. Ask the other part for some room. Turn toward whichever part answered just now. Ask if it would give you a little room, just for a few minutes, so you can meet the part that turns things down. It does not have to leave. If it worries the part that turns things down will take over, let it know you will not let that happen.