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Explore a sample system

Walks ยท one sitting, about 8 min

From before you could speak

For a very young part you have already noticed, from before you could speak. Ask the parts that guard it for permission, check how you feel toward it, then stay near it by sensing and a slow rhythm, with no story asked for. It ends by asking where it would like to wait.

8 steps, drawn from 18 books on IFS.

A walk with a younger part. It starts by asking the parts that guard it, so it goes best once you have met one of them in Getting some room.

A draft: every passage it quotes is in its book, but its own wording has not yet been checked against them.

Read every step first
  1. A part from before words. This walk is for a very young part, from a time before you could speak, that you have already noticed. Perhaps it came up in an earlier walk and was left for another day. It has no story to tell, and this walk does not ask it for one. If its protectors agree, you will stay near it, and that is all. You can stop on any step, and stopping well is part of this. If it ever becomes too much, look around the room you are in; stopping is always there.
  2. Land first. Take a few slow breaths, or a few minutes of whatever usually settles you, only to arrive where you are. Notice what is holding you up: the seat under you, the floor under your feet. Your eyes can stay open, or rest closed if that feels better.
  3. Where is it? Bring to mind the very young part you noticed before. It may not be a picture. It may be only a feeling in the body: a pull, a heaviness, a hum. Notice it from where you are, without going any closer yet.
  4. Ask the ones who guard it. Notice any parts standing guard near it: a tightening, a thought that this is a bad idea, a pull to be somewhere else. Turn to them and ask: may I get to know the very young part you look after? You can tell them you will ask it not to overwhelm you, and that you only want to acknowledge it. Wait for their answer. Stepping aside is not the same as a yes, and neither is "I guess so".
  5. How do you feel toward it? Not how the very young part feels: how do you feel toward it? Answer with what is true rather than what sounds right, because this answer decides what comes next.
  6. Just enough. Let the very young part know you are here, if that is true, and notice how it responds. Before you go closer, ask it not to flood you with its feelings, so you can stay and listen. Tell it you would like to feel just enough to be with it. If it gets to be too much at any point, ask it to turn the volume down a little.
  7. Staying near it. Let the very young part know you are here, if that is true. Then stay near it, and ask it for nothing. Take a moment here. It has no words and no story to tell. It may show you through a sensation, a movement, a mood in the body, or only a quiet. If a slow rhythm comes easily, like a heartbeat, rocking, or a slower breath toward where it sits, let that be your answer to it. Do not try to fix or change anything.
  8. Has it had enough of you near, for now? Notice whether it is easing, staying the same, or asking for more of you near. If another part reacted while you stayed, ask it to step back for now; if it will not, you can stop and hear its concerns.
  9. How loud is it now? The same scale you used at the start. Louder, quieter or the same are all fine: meeting a very young part can stir things up.
  10. Before you go. If the very young part came, thank it for whatever it let you feel. Thank the protectors who made room, or who told you they were not ready. Bring your attention back out: feel your feet and look around the room you are in. If it helps, take a breath or two. Afterward, a protector may push back, louder than usual. That is not uncommon after this kind of meeting, and a reason to get curious about it, not a sign that something went wrong.
  11. Back in the room first. Feel your body in the room you are in, the walls around you, and breathe deeply for at least two minutes. You do not need to go back to the very young one now. When you feel steadier, you can still let it know you saw it.
  12. Get to know the one that is not ready. That is all right. Today this can be the part to get to know. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if you went closer to the very young one, and wait for its answer rather than thinking one up.
  13. Is it willing now? When it has had its say, ask it once more whether you may go closer. Either answer is fine.
  14. Stopping here is allowed. When a part is not ready, stopping here is fine. It does not mean you are failing; it may only mean it needs more time before it trusts you with this. Another time, you can keep building trust with the part that is not ready.
  15. Ask for a little room. Turn toward whichever part answered just now. Ask whether it would give you a little room, just for a few minutes, so you can be with the very young one. It does not have to leave. If it worries the very young one's feelings will be too much, let it know you can ask it not to overwhelm you.
  16. Where would it like to wait? Before you go, ask the very young part where it would like to wait until you come back. Let it choose, rather than picking a place for it. If it is true, let it know you will not forget about it and that you will check in with it. Say goodbye for now.