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Walks ยท one sitting, about 14 min

The part that asks what any of it is for

For the part that asks what any of it is for, or what is real: a spiritual question met as a part with its own view. Get to know the one asking with curiosity, without answering it or arguing, whatever you believe or do not.

14 steps, drawn from 16 books on IFS.

Checked: each step was read against the book passages it rests on, and stays inside them.

Read every step first
  1. For the one who asks. For the part of you that asks what any of it is for, or what is real. This walk does not answer it or argue with it. It gets to know the one asking. Any belief, or none, is welcome. If the question comes today with wanting to be gone, stop here and reach out to a friend.
  2. Land first. Sit in a way you can stay in for a while. Your eyes can stay open or rest closed, whichever feels better, and you can change your mind. Notice what is holding you up: the seat under you, the floor under your feet.
  3. Breath, or the room. If a few slower breaths help, take them. If paying attention to your breath makes things worse, look around the room instead.
  4. Let it ask. Let the question come in its own words. It might ask what the point is, or whether any of it is real. Where is it: in your body, near it, or more like a voice in your thoughts?
  5. Say it as a part. Put it another way. Not 'what is the point?', but 'a part of me is asking what the point is'. This is not a verdict on the question. It only opens a little space: there is you, and there is the one asking.
  6. How do you feel toward it? Not how the questioning part feels, and not whether it is right. How you feel toward it. Answer with what is true rather than what sounds right. This answer decides what comes next.
  7. Not here to answer it. Let it know you are not here to answer its question, or to talk it out of asking. Ask if it has something it would like you to know. Wait, and let the answer come from it. If nothing comes, that is okay too.
  8. How it sees things. Ask how it sees things. What matters to it? What is it looking for when it asks? You do not have to agree, only listen. If it carries a longing or a hope, notice that too.
  9. What is it afraid of? Ask it what it fears could happen if it stopped asking. Wait for its answer rather than guessing it.
  10. Where did its answer point? Sometimes its fear is about now: being fooled, being handed answers that do not make sense to you, time slipping by. Sometimes it points further back, at a younger part of you hurt around belief, or by a loss. Both are worth knowing. Only one of them is for today.
  11. Thank it, if that is honest. If it feels true, thank it for asking. It can keep asking. The question does not have to be settled today; it can stay open.
  12. How strong is it now? The same scale you used at the start. A change is worth noticing. No change is fine too: you know it better than you did.
  13. Give it a name, if one comes. A name can help you notice it sooner next time, before it pulls you all the way in. Any name will do. If none comes, leave it blank.
  14. Before you go. Thank it, and any part that stepped back, for being with you, whether or not it told you anything. Let it know you plan to come back, only if you mean it. When you are ready, return to the room: feel your feet and look around.
  15. Get to know the one that keeps stepping in. That is all right. Today, this is the part to get to know. Ask it what it is afraid would happen if it let you get closer to the one asking. Wait for its answer, instead of thinking one up.
  16. Seen, and not today. If a younger part showed itself, let it know you noticed it and will not forget about it. You are not going to it today. If you want, make a note so you can come back to it. That may be plenty for one sitting.
  17. You can stop here. When a part will not step back, stopping here is fine. It does not mean you are failing: it may take more time for it to trust you. You can use the time that is left to hear what it is worried about.
  18. Ask the other part for some room. Turn toward whichever part answered just now. Ask if it would give you a little room, just for a few minutes, so you can meet the one asking. It does not have to leave. If it worries the one asking will take over, let it know you will not let that happen.